Monday, December 25, 2006

COLLECT YOUR FUCKIN MAIL! ! !

Things that break, you want to know. . .He'd like to know what mends. . .What mends the sun that breaks the dawn so that it may rise again? What mends a broken promise, trust or given words? Or is it even possible once the words are even heard? Will a break up mend a break down? Or the other way round?
Letting go of the pain, but memories stay on. A man sits in grief for the bundle of love just swayed off like a leaf. . .He struggles hard to heal, from a distance faith stares while strength seem to falter and he asks 'does God care?' letting go of the pain the mending heart still bleeds looking to the night sky. This man wants release as tears bathe his dark eyes. . . He knows not how to deal with empty feelings that plagues his heart and mind when he wakes each morning. .
~ He puts his pen at work ~ "Fuck it! I wanna get over you. I am only human. Fuck you and the bastard who rode you in. Fuck the lies that you made paper thin. Fuck you for the way you crushed my heart and told me it was nothing, fuck the part where you cried and said it was me and fuck me for thinking i could be the one that broke, the one that broke your heart. Fuck you for all your lies and for the start that you said it was no start but only me seeing something ugly that could never be and then for asking more than twice if i could let it be, it would be nice. Fuck you for saying he was only glass that sparkled in your eyes, a piece of ass when i no longer sparkled when i fell. Fuck you for sending me to hell and keeping me there. And that was where i found myself again and fuck you for saying when i found out i was broken,
'see? All the time it wasn't me!'
and fuck you for crying when i wanted out. Fuck you for begging me to give you hope. Fuck you for your narrow, shallow, selfish scope. Fuck you for never seeing me standing there in tears begging you to see, to see me standing there at all, alone and pushed so far i'd fall and when i fell, fuck you for that too! And fuck me, fuck us both, fuck you!"

~ ~ MERRY XMAS ~ ~

8 Comments:

At Thu Dec 28, 12:27:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its good 2 no that ur still alive and kicking.U should take it easy tho.Take care!

 
At Tue Jan 02, 06:36:00 AM PST , Blogger Saaleha Idrees Bamjee said...

this piece resonated with me.

happy 2007.

 
At Thu Jan 04, 04:23:00 PM PST , Blogger bb_aisha said...

I once told a friend that before I fall totally and completely in true love, I want to have my heart broken by someone I thought I loved, so that I'd appreciate true love. She thought I was crazy. But since I've always stayed away from relationships (for Islamic reasons) I've never been hurt. Until recently, by a 'friend' who liked me and i liked him(after 3yrs of not reciprocating his feelings) and even though it was just a prick, i def dont want to experience it again. but then isnt getting hurt a part of life?
ps:ur writing is very evocative

 
At Sat Jan 06, 02:20:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow!!! seemsu been badly let down by someone.

 
At Sat Jan 06, 02:51:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow!!!seemslyk sum1s been badly brokn. bagas

 
At Sun Jan 14, 07:58:00 AM PST , Blogger -saf- said...

@bagzy
boy lifes a bitch!! you are lucky you escaped it..(you know what im talkin about so shhhhh! i wouldnt even wish these feelings for my enemies)
miss you bro, miss the cafe

 
At Wed Jan 17, 12:00:00 AM PST , Blogger Mohamed Karolia said...

Very cool piece man very cool.Very readable and moving. Nice blog

k

 
At Mon Feb 19, 04:35:00 AM PST , Blogger Harman Hussin said...

Hope the time spent in Bahtkal has changed our perception.

May Allah abmit us in His Mercy among His righteous slave.

 

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